105!

We jumped from 40 to 105!!! It doubled 1 1/2 times in under 48 hours. So, feeling a bit more relaxed today. Thank you again for all the wonderful, supportive emails and blog postings.

Our first ultrasound is next week.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

(+) Chapter 2

YAY! YAY! YAY!

I just got off an airplane and had a message from Dr Shivani. We just spoke and she gave me the news. Our beta is a little on the low side - 40 - so she is taking another blood test on Friday and will phone with the results. Let's pray it doubles!!

Deep breaths...

I cannot begin to express how much the support from so many of you has meant to us. It is so reassuring to know you have so many people cheering you on and wishing you well. Overwhelming.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

10/28/09

The date of our pregnancy test.

One week from Wednesday, 11 days, 12 nights.

We transferred 4 Grade A embryos to our surrogate today. Steve is convinced this is 'our time'. I'm not sure what to think. I know we've 'stacked the deck' - we have used a proven egg donor who is 22 years old and we have a surrogate with the most positive aura I could imagine. We transferred 4 Grade A's! Odds are very much in our favor, but the thing with odds is that there are no perfect odds...

Truth be told, I am feeling pretty positive about the outcome myself. The reality is this: you worry about getting a positive, then you worry about the hCG blood test rising, then you worry about getting to 12 weeks, then you worry about the triple marker, then you worry about.....

And you worry when you send them off to college. We've embarked on a lifetime of worries and that's the reality. My mother called me this morning to make sure I made it to Washington DC safely - yes, another biz trip. She was, yes, worried. I am, yes, 41. Whether we are pregnant this round or the next or the time after that, the worries will never stop - they've only begun. So, I will vow to stay off Dr Google, focus on productive activities and let nature have her way.

Until 10/28...happy thoughts.

Three Days Till Egg Pick Up...

Quick Update on Our Egg Donor: Heard from the doctor that the donor had 10 follicles on the last ultrasound with a few days of meds left to go. Because she has donated multiple times, the doctor knows what to expect from her response to the meds. She was honest with me when we met about what to expect. She said, 'this donor produces very few eggs, but very good quality - you will not likely have any embryos left for freezing.' So, we have known all along that we would probably only have one attempt with this particular donor. That said, hearing there were 10 follicles with a few days remaining sounds like we will have a few embies to pick from for transfer...and with any luck, just maybe some for freezing. Good news. This donor has gone thru three cycles with Dr Shivani and all three resulted in live births or ongoing pregnancies, so the odds are definitely on our side.

Quick Update on Our Surrogate: Her lining was already at 8mm last week, with several days to go before transfer, so we are in great shape there too! Dr S has said that she is a 'very cooperative surrogate'- never complaining about anything and very compliant with taking her meds. Evidently some of the surrogates can be quite 'fussy' as the Dr put it. When I met her she had brought a small gift for the doctor as she had just been at the temple praying for a positive outcome. She has quit her job as of a month ago to focus on this full time so I know she wants this to work as much as we do!

Egg pick up is Wednesday this week, Oct 14th...Pregnancy test results on Oct 28th!

Here we go again...'two week wait'- here we come!

Plan B - We Have Dates!

I cannot believe it has been almost a month since my last posting. Time has passed so quickly since returning from Delhi. I have been so busy with work that there has been little time for anything else. After returning from Delhi I was in Miami for a lengthy trip, then to Wash DC, then to Boston. Now home for two weeks...whew! Steve has felt like a bit of a widower. Only yesterday, after hearing from Dr Shivani, did it hit us - 'Wow! We are actually doing this again!'

We had a bit of a delay as our surrogate was 'late' - almost 10 days late actually. All systems are 'go' now and the egg pick up is planned for approximately Oct 14 or 15 with a 2-day embryo transfer on either Oct 16 or 17 - barring any complications. So, that means pregnancy test results on Oct 30 or 31. All approximations, but it still feels good to look at a calendar and make this all more real.

What a difference a little time and a little experience makes. We are so much more relaxed this time around. We have few expectations - perhaps we will be fortunate or perhaps we will need to try again - either way, that is just fine. I think the most important thing is that we feel like there is a compassionate doctor - a half world away. Life experiences shape who we are - they shape our expectations and they shape our tolerance and they shape our priorities. Had we not had the experience with our last pregnancy - and clinic - then our expectations, priorities and tolerances would be quite different this time around. But, we did have our last experience and so, today, what means most is compassion, empathy, patience, kindness. Not that any of these things negate skill level, medical expertise or credentials - because they do not. But, bedside manner is priceless.

Selection of a medical practitioner is such a personal choice. Our experiences with these individuals are also very personal. I would like to think there is a productive way for all of us pursuing surrogacy in India to both share our journey publicly and also, safely, share of our personal experiences - past and present. I think it is wonderful that there are so many practitioners pioneering reproductive therapies in India. Choice is a beautiful thing! I guess what I am trying to say is this - share your experiences because they are yours to share and no one can take that away from you, but please think twice before attacking a clinic, doctor, agency or service provider simply for the sake of publicly airing a grievance. It does no one good. This is a difficult enough journey as it is and I think it is safe to say we all created these blogs and on-line friendships for support - so, let's support one another. Can we not accept that there are several reputable service providers and that all thing considered equal, what works for one IP may not work for the next - and that is OK?

Fall is in the air here in LA - the evenings and mornings are brisk. It is my favorite time of the year. It's funny how seasonality affects everything about our psyche. Life moves and feels differently with the change of each season - ever how slight the change in a temperate climate like ours. Even so, I wonder how it might feel to be pregnant now versus how it felt in the warmer, summer months. Quite different I expect. With pumpkins and then the December holidays, I suspect our entire experience will feel quite different this time around - and we are really, really excited about that!