Ten Weeks - Twins

I cannot believe it has been a month since my last post.  Yes, I have been very busy with work, but the truth of the matter is that I have been unable to think about posting until I knew the fetal reduction was complete.  I must say the entire notion of losing one of the triplets - intentionally - has been a very tough thing for me.  As a Catholic, being right in the midst of the Lenten season, my emotions have ran the gamut on this issue.  On the one hand, I feel as though we were wreckless by transferring four embryos - on the other hand, we do not have an infinite pipeline of money for future attempts at conceiving.  And then there is our age - At 42 and 41 we need to do this now or not at all.  I have justified myself inside and out.  I am not going to make this post all about the 'pro-life' or 'pro-choice' psyche, but suffice it to say, I've been very touched by this entire development and it has forever altered my sensitivity to a woman's right to choose.  It has not changed my position on this issue, but it has moved me in a way that is inexplicable.

All that said, the procedure is complete.  We received a text from Dr Shivani this morning that let us know that the prognosis for the surrogate and our twins was positive.  These days we pray that these are, in fact, 'our babies'...the ones that fate has written as our destiny.  I am still struggling to accept this as reality.  Neither of us ever really believed it would be possible for us to have a family until we found surrogacy in India.  As much as we read about all those ahead of us who have brought home babies - or are about to do so - it still seems like an unlikely possibility.  Maybe that is just us being guarded so if something goes wrong we are not devastated.  So, here we are at 10 weeks - 3 weeks until we tell an extended group of friends and co-workers about our news.  God, please let these be our babies.  We will love them more than anyone can imagine.

xxxx
T&S

Triplets!

Yes, we have three live babies - all three with strong heartbeats!  Got the news yesterday and was confirmed with the reports I received this morning.  At 6 weeks + 1 day, the three are measuring perfectly on track:  Baby #1 is measuring 6 weeks + 2 days and Babies #2 and #3 are measuring 6 weeks + 1 day.  Two have heart rates of 137 and one is at 126 - all very solid.

So, here I sit both ecstatic and miserable.  Any higher order pregnancy is risky, but three or more are particularly so.  For those readers not familiar with surrogacy contracts, it is common for the contracts to protect the surrogate against a risky triplet pregnancy.  By contract our surrogate is prohibited from carrying more than twins.  We have known this all along and well understand the reasons for this protection, but now that it is a reality, I couldn't be more sad.  Should all three babies continue to grow normally for another couple of weeks, we will be looking at a procedure called 'selective fetal reduction'.  There is a link to follow that explains this about as well as any site I've seen.  It is not uncommon.  It is not without risks.  At the end of the day, however, it is less risky than attempting to carry triplets to term.  Yes, there are successful triplet, quadruplet and as seen in the news recently, octuplet deliveries...but they are generally not born without complications...often with one or more babies arriving with permanent disabilities.  The risks to the birth mother are also considerable.

http://www.peacehealth.org/kbase/dp/topic/tn10007/dp.htm

For now, we can do nothing more than wait and pray - wait to see if nature may take care of one of the babies on it's own - and pray for the three of them while we wait. 

I know we are not prepared for three babies and I know it is not our choice, but after trying so hard to have a family, the idea of losing one that is healthy is heartbreaking.  The health of two babies and a beautiful, caring surrogate, however, must take precedence. 

Thanks everyone for your prayers and warm messages.  Hopefully we will be heading to India in September to pick up two beautiful, healthy twins!

Love,
Terry and Steve

1 + 1 + 1 = 3

In the early morning hours yesterday, we received the following text from Dr S:  'three sacs'.  The ultrasound shows three well defined gestational sacs - two with yolk sacs and one without - this was at 5 weeks + 1 day.  We have said all along that twins would be a welcome blessing and by the same token I have worried all along that four embryos might turn into more than twins - and then, the dreaded 'selective reduction' procedure.  Well, here we are with three sacs...the heartbeat scan is next week so no need to worry just yet.  One of the sacs is slightly smaller than the other two (and it happens to be the one without a noticable yolk sac), so there is a chance that nature will take care of this on its own. 

For now, we celebrate! 

And the First Beta is...

386!!!

Finally, a strong beta!  In both of the previous pregnancies we were under 40 on our first value.  We are actually feeling like this may be our baby!  Important to keep the emotions in check though - it is still so early on, but this is looking really good so far.  We are both smiling from ear to ear.

Thanks again to our surrogacy family worldwide.  The community on-line is such a blessing.  The emails were overwhelming yesterday...

First ultrasound next week!

PS - something odd is going on with my settings on Blogger and I cannot post comments on anyone's blogs - with only a couple of exceptions - I think I can post on Amani's and Jojo's and that's it.  I feel like I've been blacklisted!  LOL.  So, not ignoring anyone, just having technical challenges!

xx

T&S 

Chapter 3 (+)

Today was the day of our pregnancy test, but given that today is Republic Day in India, a national holiday, the lab was closed.  Dr S had emailed with me yesterday that she could not perform the blood test until Wed, rather than today, Tues.  I was so bummed, so she said that she would do a urine test today.  She just phoned (around 5am LA time) and said 'Good News - Strong Positive'!  YAY!  The blood test results with the actual beta level will be available this time tomorrow morning.

We are now 3 for 3 - 3 attempts, 3 pregnancies.  Interesting statistics in this crazy ride called surrogacy.  Now, here's praying that the third one is THE ONE!  We are very excited, but with two miscarriages under our belt, cautious at best.

Thanks everyone for all the emails and comments - means so much to have the support of so many.  Dr S is having a really strong 'run' right now with positives!  We are equally happy for her and her growing clientele of which she is so very deserving.  She is our hero.

More tomorrow...

xx

Terry & Steve

Chapter 3 - Egg Collection & Embryo Transfer

Well, here we are again! My posts have been infrequent of late, but Chapter 3 is now in motion and there's no time like the present to share our updates...

First of all, let me say that I couldn't be less stressed. It is odd really. I'm sure it is largely due to having so much work on my plate that I barely have time to sleep! That aside, I think there is just a nice 'calm' that comes with knowing the process and understanding the need for patience...and trusting your doctor implicitly. Yes, we LOVE our doctor.

Egg Donor:
We liked the donor from our first pregnancy and we were thrilled with the donor from our second pregnancy, but we LOVE this donor. I've sat and stared at her photo until I feel like I know her. She has the most beautiful smile and I have felt from the time we selected her that she is the one - the one that will bring us our family. She was a first time donor, but had two children of her own. We had no expectation of how many eggs she would produce or what the quality would be. Well, let me tell you how surprised we were when Dr Shivani called to say she collected 32 mature eggs!!! WOW! So, I started to do the math - assuming a 70% fertilization rate we would have 20 embryos - assuming 50% of those were good quality we'd have 10 embryos - 4 for now and 6 to freeze for a second attempt if needed. Are you following my math? Well, let me once again tell you how surprised we were when Dr Shivani called to say that 29 of the eggs fertilized (90% fertilization) and 26 of them were Grade A and 3 were Grade B!!! We transferred 4 Grade A today and froze 22 Grade A and 3 Grade B embryos!!! Enough for probably four more attempts, God forbid we need them.

We have 25 excellent quality FROZEN EMBIES :)

Dr S was thrilled with the results.

Surrogate:
Now, this was the tough thing. Surrogate K (from our last cycle) is what Dr S calls a 'dream surrogate'. I laughed when Dr S said there are 'no shenanigans' with K - I love that word. She takes her meds and never complains. Well, unfortunately, K began bleeding a few days ago and was unable to go through with the embryo transfer today. Fortunately for us, Dr S stayed up most of one night organizing a back up plan. She was able to move another surrogate into our cycle and now K (who is now better) will go to another set of Intended Parents - I think next week. We wish her the best of luck...

Pregnancy test is January 26.

And, if we get a negative, we'll be just fine with 25 fabulous embies in storage!

:)

Christmas Eve Wishes

I can't believe it has been four weeks since our last post! Life remains busy, and blessed. Today is our birthday and we have so much to be thankful for - our friends, our family, our health - the simple fact that we have the financial resources to continue our pursuit for a family. Steve awoke me this morning as he does every morning - by laying my robe at my feet, kissing me and telling me he loves me, but today he added 'Happy Birthday!' - to which I replied the same. He is the love of my life and thank God I am the love of his. My mom arrives from Texas this evening for a long stay and I couldn't be more excited to see her. We haven't seen her since May so this visit is long overdue.

We are cycling again now - with our third egg donor - using the same surrogate from cycle #2. We really want this to work for this particular surrogate and her family as much as we want it for ourselves. Embryo transfer should be in about 3 weeks with pregnancy test at the end of January. We are waiting for the suppression scan results which will tell us how our donor is doing - we went with a first time donor because we just felt good about her. If there is one thing that is evident, there is no definitive way to predict the success of a donor...so, we went with the one with the big brown eyes, beautiful smile and bone structure that had 'confidence' spelled out from ear to ear. The egg donor selection process has been the toughest part of this journey - at least for me. Falling in love with the idea of these women being our baby's biological mother and then having to let go of that notion and fall in love all over again, and now again - this has been challenging.

For all those, like us, in pursuit of parenthood - a short story of inspiration. My dear friend Tandy, whom I've known for over 20 years, called me this week. Her and her husband are spending their first Christmas with their adopted son Jake - he was born in July of this year through an open adoption. A quick run down of their 10+ year journey to Jake: 8 failed IVF self cycles and multiple miscarriages, followed by 2 donor egg cycles including one miscarriage and three attempts with donor eggs and surrogacy (all negative). Then, last fall, they were to adopt a child through an open adoption. The baby was born, given to them and they returned to their hotel to begin the state mandated, 7 day 'waiting period' - during which time the birth mother can 'change her mind' - which she did. On day 2, they drove the baby back to the birth mother and returned home to Dallas, devastated. Then, finally, this past July, Jake arrived. Her call to me was to tell us that we 'should never give up on our dream'.

I love following all our fellow bloggers' stories - some have news coming soon (fingers crossed, you know who you are) - others have crossed into the second or third trimester! Your stories keep our dreams alive. Thank God for this network of cyber-support. We all have our stories - some filled with more drama, some with less - but, the one thing that is consistent is that those with babies are the ones who were relentless in their pursuit. Good luck again to all waiting for a 'positive'. We are sending you love and baby dust.

Merry Christmas to all of you and best wishes for a fabulous 2010!

Love,
Terry and Steve