A Whole House Full of Boys!

Jag Stephen, 2.6kg (5.7lbs), 6:20am, September 11, 2010

Ajay William, 2.24kg (4.9lbs), 6:21am, September 11, 2010

After hearing yesterday from Dr S that we were scheduled for a c-section next Wednesday, we both retired for the evening feeling like the next four days might be the longest yet.  So, how surprised we were to be awoken with news that they had decided today was the day - their day!  Both arrived via c-section and were about 2 hours old in these photos.

I had very mixed emotions about them coming on 9/11 - I even mentioned this to a couple of people yesterday - 'what if they come this weekend, what if they come on 9/11'.  A close co-worker said that she had seen a book recently at the doctor's office - about babies born on 9/11 - the title was 'Faces of Hope'.  I can't think of a more fitting sentiment.  My dear Nanny and Papa (mom's parents) were married on September 11 (long before 2001 mind you) and God how I loved them so.  A girl would have been named after her but I think honoring their 50+ year, loving marriage is the perfect way to connect their lives.  They would have loved to have seen me have children - I know they are proud even though I can't see their reaction in this world.  

We saw our beautiful surrogate in recovery - she placed her hands together and whispered 'namaste' and smiled at us from ear to ear when we walked in.  We both welled up with tears.

The boys are beautiful.  I have never felt what I felt upon seeing them and touching them.  Our little miracles are perfect, simply perfect.  They have no breathing tubes, no lamps, no incubator - just swaddled in little blankets and absolute perfection.  

What a blessing. Thank you God for trusting us with these two little souls.  We won't disappoint you.

And now we wait some more...

Well, after 9000 miles and 44 hours of travel time (we stopped in Europe for the night to break up the trip), we arrived in Delhi last night around midnight local time.  I managed to get us business class seats at the last minute and thank God for that.  The apartment we rented is in Greater Kailash which is ten minutes from the ultrasound facilities, the hospital and Dr Shivani's office - so, very convenient.  We have daily housekeeping and anything we want is a text message away.  Steve is thrilled that we can have a massage therapist here at a moment's notice for about $12 an hour.  Everything from DVD's to fresh meat from the butcher shop - all delivered - the service here is such a treat for so little money.  There is an open air market across the street that has everything from pharmacies to clothing to groceries to Pizza Hut.  So, we are set there.

Now, onto Steve's reaction to Delhi and what you endure for all these treats at such a modest price.  As all of us who have been to India know - that first flirt with reality here is a bitter dose.  He is having that experience today.  While I have been here twice, this is his first trip.  He is simply speechless at the level of poverty and unsanitary conditions - and we are in 'posh' Greater Kailash!  I am somewhat less affected this time - which is disturbing in and of itself.  How quickly we condition ourselves.

All in all, we are comfortable and as the title suggests - now we wait.  We had the wonderful experience today of visiting Dr Shivani and Dr Jolly (the sonologist) at Dr Jolly's office - there we met our (incredibly shy) surrogate for a routine scan.  Having the experience of watching your children on ultrasound, hearing the heartbeats - simply amazing.  I never thought we would make it here in time, but we did - and it looks like with time to spare.  We are 36 weeks 1 day and Dr Shivani says she will not schedule a c-section before 37 weeks 2 days - so we have potentially 8 days of additional waiting.  Both babies are approximately 5.5 lbs (2.5kg) as of today's scan - so, likely we are going to have 6 lb twins!  I don't know of another set of Indian surrogacy twins that have gone to 37 weeks - someone correct me if I am wrong.  This is such great news...nice, big, healthy babies.  We are convinced more now than ever that at least one baby is a boy - have thought so all along, but almost certain of it now.  Just saying...noone disclosed a thing...just a gut feeling.  The only person who knows the sex of the babies is the sonologist, Dr Jolly - Dr Shivani doesn't even know...all against Indian law...I know this is driving several of our friends nuts.

So, that is it for now - stay tuned...

Terry & Steve

Dad, Daddy, Papa?

We have our baby names, the nursery is done, our plane tickets are purchased - we are pretty much ready to go and get our kids!  The one thing we haven't decided is what we want them to call us.  The thing is this, when talking to a baby, you often (or at least we do with our dogs) refer to yourself in the first person - 'daddy loves you' - 'can you smile for papa?' - 'dad wants you to stop crying'.  Yes, I know you can't really control what your kids call you - as toddlers or as they grow up.  I have an Aunt Choo Choo (her name is Shirley) and I still call her that to this day!  Not sure how I got from Aunt Shirley to Aunt Choo Choo.  So, on the one hand, why worry about it - on the other hand, my obsessive nature wants this detail ironed out.  Thoughts anyone?  We talked about Daddy and Daddy T.  We are pretty sure Steve will be Daddy...he will be the primary caregiver. Papa sounds so formal.

I have been out of town on business much of the past two weeks.  Last weekend I was in LA and I developed a bad case of the 'I miss LA blues'.  It was 67 degrees at night (19 Celsius) - every night.  We had dinner outside with the air so still and so comfortable.  Just amazing.  I went through our Sunday 'routine' - gym, mass, lunch - but Steve wasn't there with me so it all felt so odd.  I text him 'I miss LA' and he text back 'just think about raising the kids here in Dallas'.  We moved primarily because we decided that raising kids in LA was not for us.  The fact is, Texas is a wonderful place and when I wrote a few posts back about leaving my heart there, it was true.  Texas gets a bad wrap.  Yes, Texas did produce the worst president in our lifetime.  Yes, Texas does have more than its share of conservative, absurd politicians and hypocritical, religious zealots.  Yes, it is hotter than hell in the summer.  But...and this is a big, important BUT...people are genuinely nice.  Case in point - a couple of weekends back, I was sitting at a stop light, waiting to turn left at a red arrow - the light turned from red to green and we sat there - the car at the light wasn't moving - the car in front of me and behind me sat quietly - 10 seconds later the light turned red.  What was odd about this?  NOONE BLEW THEIR HORNS!  It was oddly shocking.  In LA, not only would there have been an onslaught of honking horns, there is a strong likelihood that someone would have gone over to the driver's window and pulled the person from their car and beat them - OK, I exaggerate - but, there would have been honking, screaming and lots of waving middle fingers.  This is one example.  We made the right decision for us and for the kids - and we saw my parents more in one month than we had typically seen them in a year's time.  There is an enormous gay community in Texas, and particularly in Dallas - I have so many friends from over the years there, so there is no lack of 'community'.  I feel our stress level going down and I am quite certain we have added 10 years to our life.  Life in Dallas is - simply put - Easy. 

We received scans today and a report from Dr S.  The larger twin is up to 2167g (4.8 lbs) and the smaller one 1974g (4.4 lbs).  No signs of labor and we are 34.5 weeks.  We arrive in Delhi on Sept 7th - that is about a week and a half from now.  I fly home from the last leg of my trip tomorrow and will be home all next week in the event we get a call and need to leave for India earlier than planned.  I can't wait to meet these kids!!!!

Terry (and Steve)

Ducks & Frogs (with a turtle thrown in here and there...)

The nursery is nearing completion!  It is all about ducks and frogs - yellow and green - gender neutral.

The stuffed animal on the outside of the crib is called a 'Sleep Sheep' - there is one  on each crib that attaches with velcro.  They were a gift at our shower and they are so cool!  They make four different noises - that sound like mom's womb - to help them sleep, sleep, sleep - yeah, right!?  I can dream, right?

This room in our new house is by far the brightest - it gets so much sun.  So, we had these 'blackout' shades made that take out 95% of the daylight.  They lower from the top down which is nice because the little bit of sun that we do get, is filtered thru the valance.

The only missing element is the glider/rocker chair - it is on order and should be here within another month or so.

Got scans and updates from Dr S - at 32 weeks, both babies are just under 4lbs (1.8kg) and our surrogate is well.  The doc says that she believes our surro should make it to 36 weeks which is great news.  This makes sense because we have had such an (touch wood as Dr S says) uneventful pregnancy thus far.  I hope she is right.  So, based on that piece of information, I bit the bullet and booked our flights.  We leave on Sunday, September 5 with a 24 hour stop-over in Amsterdam (we used frequent flier miles for the tickets and this is what we got for free, we'll have a nice dinner and enjoy the cool weather there!) - we arrive in Delhi late evening on September 7th - 36 weeks to the day.  We are still working on our housing - Lotus is booked but we are working with Shilpi on some other options and will have that nailed down shortly.

Starting to pack the babies' bag(s) for our trip!!!  We leave in JUST OVER 3 WEEKS!  OMG.  This is really, really happening.

Thinking of Jojo over there in Delhi - can't wait for their news!!!!!

T&S

Note to Self...

Do not attempt any of the following in conjunction with the other...
1.  Move to Dallas in the heat of summer (it is 108 degrees today).
2.  Renovate one home while selling another, in two different cities.
3.  Move into a home that is still under renovation and do much of the renovation yourself to save money.
4.  Do any of the above while 30 weeks pregnant with twins that could arrive any day!!!!

Have you ever heard of biting off more than you can chew???  Ugh.  The past six weeks have been a whirlwind.  Decide to move cross country, buy a home, put another home on the market, begin renovations and move!  Ready, set, go!  I have not had a spare moment for anything - no blogging, no reading of blogs, nothing.  I miss my leisurely walks in the morning with Steve and the dogs...and the sense of organization and comfort in knowing exactly where to find a pair of underwear or a spoon.

All that said, I felt I had to get a quick post out and catch up on all our surrogate buddies' news - so I am doing just that.  Status report.
1.  31 Weeks tomorrow and all is well.
2.  Home renovations in Dallas are 80% complete - nursery is missing cribs, but they are en route.  Minor detail.
3.  Home in LA is not moving - market is worse than we thought - have reduced the price 3x.
4.  Baby shower in LA was touching, emotional and fruitful!
5.  Having my parents nearby is priceless (my dad is an electrician so he has come in quite handy).
6.  Dallas is HOT in summer.
7.  Dallas is REALLY HOT in summer.
8.  Living on McDonald's and pizza buffets and skipping the gym is only fun for so long.
9.  Developing love handles is not fun at all.
10.  I love my life :)

Before and after pics of the kitchen in Dallas - it was tragic before and very cool now!  It is not 100%, but it is getting there...

Before

And After

And the baby shower hosted by my friends Jim and Kathleen

This was half chocolate and half white cream with fresh strawberries inside!

Us with our hosts (Jim and Kathleen - remember Kathleen from the Taj Mahal?)  She is still bitter that we left LA with 'her babies' - Auntie Kathleen will just have to visit Dallas often!

We got SO MUCH STUFF!

Here's to praying for a few more weeks gestation!  37 weeks, full term is September 14.  Would be a blessing if we made it till then, but we know it will likely be sooner.  I check my phone every morning to see if there is anything from Dr S...

Sorry for being so out of touch and looking forward to keeping up with everyone's news more closely going forward.

BiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiG NEWS!

Almost 26 weeks and all is well - and lots going on!  Many of our readers know that I am not a native Californian - love it as I may, our palm trees and endless days of sunshine and cool breezes - I left my heart in Texas.  I was born, raised and educated there - and then, I left - 16 years ago.  Off to build a career, I set off on a series of moves that would take me from Texas to Miami to Atlanta and then to LA.  Our life here is amazing on every level, but there is one big missing element - family.  My family is still in Texas and Steve's in Atlanta.  We own a small, 1925 spanish home in West Hollywood, right off Melrose, walking distance to just about anything you could want - it is a duplex and we rent one side and call the other side our own - our side is 2 bedrooms, 1 bath - and when I say 'bath', I mean 'shower'.  We knew when we began this journey thru surrogacy that our home was going to be a challenge for raising a child - we share a wall with our tenant and the 'baby's room' is adjacent to her room.  And did I mention, NO BATH TUB?!?!  We have debated an extension to the home, but there is no easy way to do it.  We have debated moving to the burbs, but I can't stand the idea.  We have also talked about moving back to Texas one day - where your $$ goes 5 times as far.  It just so happens that we are doing just that...moving to Texas.

Long story short - I am the national sales manager for a company headquartered in LA, but with showrooms in 12 cities.  I am fortunate to work for a very generous owner who understands the importance of family.  Immediately after presenting the idea, she offered her support.  The fact of the matter is that I will be more centrally located in the country which will cut my travel time in half when going to DC, NY, Boston or Miami.  We will be within 3 hours of my parents which is priceless.  We purchased twice the home for 1/5 the price...the list goes on.  We are actually going to have a nursery!!!!!  We leave this Friday.  Steve's family is thrilled as they are now within a reasonable driving distance or 1 1/2 hour flight.  I am not looking forward to the oppressive temperatures that Dallas sports in summer, but other than that, I am just about happier than humanly possible.  We will miss our life here, but we have a new one that is just getting started - and the access to two expert baby helpers - my mom and dad.

And, now, for more big news - check out this baby bump!!!!

Looks like we better get to Dallas quickly and get that nursery together!  Our shower is July 22 here in LA so we will be back for that...

New Pictures - Can You See Their Faces Now?

I actually got these last week at 22 weeks, but I haven't had time to post.  One is looking down and one is looking up.  We are 23 weeks now.  Just a couple more weeks until they are viable!  Trying not to worry, but it isn't working.  Our surrogate was hospitalized a couple of weeks ago with mild uterine contractions, but was treated and released a couple of days later.  We are so lucky to have such great medical care! 

Congrats to George in Australia on the birth of his twins!  We all started this journey together last year and it is so amazing to see it coming to fruition for so many of us!  Many more to come in the coming months.