I cannot believe it has been a month since my last post. Yes, I have been very busy with work, but the truth of the matter is that I have been unable to think about posting until I knew the fetal reduction was complete. I must say the entire notion of losing one of the triplets - intentionally - has been a very tough thing for me. As a Catholic, being right in the midst of the Lenten season, my emotions have ran the gamut on this issue. On the one hand, I feel as though we were wreckless by transferring four embryos - on the other hand, we do not have an infinite pipeline of money for future attempts at conceiving. And then there is our age - At 42 and 41 we need to do this now or not at all. I have justified myself inside and out. I am not going to make this post all about the 'pro-life' or 'pro-choice' psyche, but suffice it to say, I've been very touched by this entire development and it has forever altered my sensitivity to a woman's right to choose. It has not changed my position on this issue, but it has moved me in a way that is inexplicable.
All that said, the procedure is complete. We received a text from Dr Shivani this morning that let us know that the prognosis for the surrogate and our twins was positive. These days we pray that these are, in fact, 'our babies'...the ones that fate has written as our destiny. I am still struggling to accept this as reality. Neither of us ever really believed it would be possible for us to have a family until we found surrogacy in India. As much as we read about all those ahead of us who have brought home babies - or are about to do so - it still seems like an unlikely possibility. Maybe that is just us being guarded so if something goes wrong we are not devastated. So, here we are at 10 weeks - 3 weeks until we tell an extended group of friends and co-workers about our news. God, please let these be our babies. We will love them more than anyone can imagine.
xxxx
T&S
