Friday, September 4, 2009

Reflections on Delhi

What a week. It has been a long five days and I am definitely ready to go home, but I feel good, really good. So good, in fact, that I felt our blog needed some color - presto, a rack of brightly colored sarees hanging over a beautifully tiled floor - and a new title - 'pursuit' being the key word. Steve and I are so lucky to have found one another - in our pursuit of happiness and companionship - we hit the proverbial jackpot. In our pursuit for paternity, there is no doubt, we will again find fulfillment. There is no way of predicting when, how or under what set of circumstances, but believing is key - and we do believe - in Miracles and in God and in Karma. We will reach our goal. No doubt. I fly home to LA tonight - with a renewed optimism.

Steve again stayed behind in LA to mind the house, dogs, yard, etc. I figure since he is going to be staying home and caring for our children, the least I can do is handle the leg work. Truth be told, I know the traffic here is going to drive him nuts and I'd rather spare myself the anxiety until we come for baby pick up. My mother did not raise a dummy. Not really wanting to travel alone again however, I easily lured my friend Kathleen into making the trek alongside - I dangled a day trip to the Taj Mahal as a carrot and she bought it - hook, line and sinker. She is so exhausted today. There is no real way to prepare someone for their time in India. Until you experience it first hand, it cannot be described. I love it and hate it all at once - it is both beautiful and disturbing. We were fortunate that Parashar set up his Delhi team to provide 24/7 support - from airport to hotel to clinic to tourist attractions - they have been terrific. If anyone needs the email contact for 'Your Man in India' - please let me know. The prices are reasonable and their services are priceless.

OK, back to the reason I am here. The baby making. Well, Dr Shivani who works with Phoenix Hospital in Delhi is our newest hope for bringing home a baby. I feel good about her at every level. She is responsive, kind and 'western' in her approach. I am happy to share as much as anyone likes via private emails. She is, simply put - a class act.

Synopsis: I met the surrogate, her husband and the social worker. I signed the contracts - clear and concise. I was provided detailed information about our egg donor. I learned that our surrogate will move into the surrogate house immediately upon testing positive for pregnancy - both at doctor's urging and by her own will. Payments to the surrogate are transparent - they are clearly outlined in the contract - I have full visibility to what she is being paid versus what the doctor is being paid - contractually - no secrets. The surrogate is paid monthly as long as she remains pregnant. If she miscarries in month 3, we pay for only 3 months - unlike Mumbai where you pre-pay and then cross your fingers and toes that the pregnancy continues. Oh, and I have saved the best for last - weekly email updates from the doctor herself! . She thinks it is ridiculous that this is a novel concept.

Details on our egg donor: She is 22 and has cycled 3 times with Dr Shivani and 2 times with another doctor. With Dr Shivani she has produced 3 positive pregnancies in her 3 cycles - one triplet, full term birth (not a surrogate, a private couple), one singleton birth and one ongoing pregnancy. She completed high school and has completed advanced studies as well. We couldn't be happier.

Trips back to India: Well, hopefully there will be only one trip back - to pick up baby(ies). Multiple samples of sperm have been frozen and the doctor has assured me that if we fail one or two more times, she will handle updating contracts (even changing of surrogates) through the mail. This is a huge relief - both in terms of travel expense and my sanity. We have made financial arrangements that will allow us to attempt 3 more times if needed.

I will post again soon with photos and more details about our time in Delhi. It has been a great visit.

Thank God Monday is a US holiday - I am certainly going to need it!


Amber and Brian said...

Have a safe trip home and wishing you tons of baby dust!

Doug and Bill said...

Looks like Plan B is working out well...thanks for sharing your experiences in Delhi, Terry. It's good to hear their are other options out there. Good luck to you guys. Keep us posted and Bill and I will do the same. Travel home safely...and get some rest!

Karen said...

Hi best wishes on your journey!! I am delighted to hear your reports on Dr. Shivani as we are starting with her in October. Would you mind emailing me your email address just for some information if you dont mind. Thanks so much, Karen and John

Karen said...

Hi sorry email is Thanks alot Karen

Phoenix said...

So happy. I knew you'd love her!

Todd said...

Best wishes on your renewed plans -- it sounds like your new surrogacy partners are a perfect fit with realizing your dreams and with your resolve your dreams will come true. Will be watching here closely for good news in a couple of weeks!!!

Mike and Mike said...

Hey Terry, keep us updated. I'd be very interested to see how Delhi pans out. Thus far, from your report, Rotunda could take a a few lessons, and then some.

It sounds like the Delhi clinic understands how business and communication is done in the Western world and is more than willing to accommodate.

Good luck, our fingers and toes and bits and pieces are crossed for you.

Mike A.

jojo said...

Wonderful, boys. I'm so glad everything is working out for you! Can't wait to hear about your soon-to-be-positive!


Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this report! Would you mind forwarding me the information for "Your Man in India" that you have used? We might be traveling there in a few months, and I might go alone (single woman) at least once so I would like to have some on the ground support.

my info is: ashleysikora @ yahoo. com (remove spaces)


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