Sunday, October 4, 2009

Plan B - We Have Dates!

I cannot believe it has been almost a month since my last posting. Time has passed so quickly since returning from Delhi. I have been so busy with work that there has been little time for anything else. After returning from Delhi I was in Miami for a lengthy trip, then to Wash DC, then to Boston. Now home for two weeks...whew! Steve has felt like a bit of a widower. Only yesterday, after hearing from Dr Shivani, did it hit us - 'Wow! We are actually doing this again!'

We had a bit of a delay as our surrogate was 'late' - almost 10 days late actually. All systems are 'go' now and the egg pick up is planned for approximately Oct 14 or 15 with a 2-day embryo transfer on either Oct 16 or 17 - barring any complications. So, that means pregnancy test results on Oct 30 or 31. All approximations, but it still feels good to look at a calendar and make this all more real.

What a difference a little time and a little experience makes. We are so much more relaxed this time around. We have few expectations - perhaps we will be fortunate or perhaps we will need to try again - either way, that is just fine. I think the most important thing is that we feel like there is a compassionate doctor - a half world away. Life experiences shape who we are - they shape our expectations and they shape our tolerance and they shape our priorities. Had we not had the experience with our last pregnancy - and clinic - then our expectations, priorities and tolerances would be quite different this time around. But, we did have our last experience and so, today, what means most is compassion, empathy, patience, kindness. Not that any of these things negate skill level, medical expertise or credentials - because they do not. But, bedside manner is priceless.

Selection of a medical practitioner is such a personal choice. Our experiences with these individuals are also very personal. I would like to think there is a productive way for all of us pursuing surrogacy in India to both share our journey publicly and also, safely, share of our personal experiences - past and present. I think it is wonderful that there are so many practitioners pioneering reproductive therapies in India. Choice is a beautiful thing! I guess what I am trying to say is this - share your experiences because they are yours to share and no one can take that away from you, but please think twice before attacking a clinic, doctor, agency or service provider simply for the sake of publicly airing a grievance. It does no one good. This is a difficult enough journey as it is and I think it is safe to say we all created these blogs and on-line friendships for support - so, let's support one another. Can we not accept that there are several reputable service providers and that all thing considered equal, what works for one IP may not work for the next - and that is OK?

Fall is in the air here in LA - the evenings and mornings are brisk. It is my favorite time of the year. It's funny how seasonality affects everything about our psyche. Life moves and feels differently with the change of each season - ever how slight the change in a temperate climate like ours. Even so, I wonder how it might feel to be pregnant now versus how it felt in the warmer, summer months. Quite different I expect. With pumpkins and then the December holidays, I suspect our entire experience will feel quite different this time around - and we are really, really excited about that!

12 comments:

Doug R said...

I have been waiting for this post with dates for Plan B. Yay, so excited for you guys, and hoping that things go smooth for you with the Delhi clinic -- you deserve it! I wish I could channel some of your "ohm" as we wait for our pregnancy test result tomorrow...

...AND, I agree with your statement about clinic-bashing. I've stopped reading the blogs that do this. I don't need any more anxiety than I already have and the friendships we've made this far have been extremely valuable -- who has time for drama when there is so much at stake, emotionally and financially??

Keep us posted. GOOD LUCK!

Doug and Bil

Anonymous said...

Good luck ...
If it is not positive this time, try again..

For us it took 4 times to get pregnant, and now we are waiting twins...

Tex

Amani said...

Nice work! So happy about this, you guys, then another couple, then me ... bring on the babies.

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Mike and Mike said...

Yeah...new dates! And, waddya mean you were in Boston and you didn't come see us?! I'm gonna sic the tooth fairy on ya! Just kidding.

We look forward to hearing how things go and are crossing our fingers for you.

Mike and Mike

Mandy said...

This post touched my heart in so many ways....love that you have dates and your ora is so calm and inviting....you post is very well said and i learn from every post.

All the best & Good Luck
(its fall here on the east coast as well..loving it).

CharlieCat said...

I's so excited for you both.
Best of luck,CC

Karen said...

Hi guys - great to hear you have your dates!!!! Best of luck!!!Karen