Thursday, February 11, 2010


Yes, we have three live babies - all three with strong heartbeats!  Got the news yesterday and was confirmed with the reports I received this morning.  At 6 weeks + 1 day, the three are measuring perfectly on track:  Baby #1 is measuring 6 weeks + 2 days and Babies #2 and #3 are measuring 6 weeks + 1 day.  Two have heart rates of 137 and one is at 126 - all very solid.

So, here I sit both ecstatic and miserable.  Any higher order pregnancy is risky, but three or more are particularly so.  For those readers not familiar with surrogacy contracts, it is common for the contracts to protect the surrogate against a risky triplet pregnancy.  By contract our surrogate is prohibited from carrying more than twins.  We have known this all along and well understand the reasons for this protection, but now that it is a reality, I couldn't be more sad.  Should all three babies continue to grow normally for another couple of weeks, we will be looking at a procedure called 'selective fetal reduction'.  There is a link to follow that explains this about as well as any site I've seen.  It is not uncommon.  It is not without risks.  At the end of the day, however, it is less risky than attempting to carry triplets to term.  Yes, there are successful triplet, quadruplet and as seen in the news recently, octuplet deliveries...but they are generally not born without complications...often with one or more babies arriving with permanent disabilities.  The risks to the birth mother are also considerable.

For now, we can do nothing more than wait and pray - wait to see if nature may take care of one of the babies on it's own - and pray for the three of them while we wait. 

I know we are not prepared for three babies and I know it is not our choice, but after trying so hard to have a family, the idea of losing one that is healthy is heartbreaking.  The health of two babies and a beautiful, caring surrogate, however, must take precedence. 

Thanks everyone for your prayers and warm messages.  Hopefully we will be heading to India in September to pick up two beautiful, healthy twins!

Terry and Steve


Danielle said...

I am so happy for you. Bittersweet though it is. Congratulations on twins!!!!

Greg, Rob and Our Little Girl. said...

WOW!! What a journey for you two. We are both Happy for you. The Reduction was a the hardest thing about the contract. We did not have to go through it but we were worried. Please know we are thinking of you both and your babies. We will be going over next month for our birth. The time flies by! Congrats on twins!! This is finally happening for you two.

Keep us posted!!

Amber and Brian said...

You, your surrogate and the babies are in our thoughts and prayers. We know this has been a tough road for you but I can't wait for September when you hopefully will be willing to post a couple of pictures of your beautiful twins.

You guys are going to be amazing parents.

2 AFRO DADS said...

This is exciting news trinkled down with a hint of sadness.

We are wishing you both the best for a successful pregnancy, despite the hard decisions that you may have to make.

All the BEST!

Will and Michael said...

This whole process has definitely been difficult for you both, filled with every emotion possible.

We are thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Johnny and Darren said...

SR is something none of us want to face but as you say, the health of your surrogate and two babies must take precedence.

You are in our thoughts and prayers guys.

Congratulations on this news!

Charliecat & John said...

Brave post - we all want to be pregnant, but none of us want this. It is bittersweet & heart breaking.
You are in our thoughts and prayers,
CC & John

jojo said...

Oh, boys. I wish could hop on a plane and give you both a big hug. This is our fault! We all wanted you to succeed so badly, that we sent you too much babydust!

This is tough, I'm not going to pretend that it isn't. But you're both survivors and you're both realists. You have to do this - there's no choice.

If it makes you feel any better, we ALL take the same risks and we ALL may be called upon to perform selective reduction. You just happento be lucky and unlucky, all at the same time.

Much love to you both and many many onlinegirlfriend cuddles.


ps - your word verification was 'repack'

Phoenix said...

This is so bittersweet. None of us want SR, it is heartbreaking. Pray is all you can do.

More online girly hugs coming to you from Australia. xxx

Edward said...

We're thinking about you both. What a long and windy road this can and certainly has been for both of you. Amongst the threat of SR, you have tremendous blessings to celebrate!!!
We'll pray for a natural resolution and keep feeling happy for your successful pregnancy that is continuing beautifully!

Todd said...

You are doing the right thing for all. When we first got our results that showed triplets, we struggled with the same conflicting feelings. Triplets are far too high risk for your SM and your babies and all can be in jeopardy. A twin pregnancy alone is also higher risk, but the prospects of a healthy outcome for all are so much higher.

Niels and Alexander said...

Hi guys, congratulations big time! And yes, surrogacy contracts here clearly state that three is a crowd:( I really feel for you guys and in a way I hope nature will deal with this, if not, the dreaded selective reduction is your path. I wish both of you the best and you're in our minds. Take care and stay as positive as you've been so far!

Jason said...

Congratulations, guys! You both deserve it. Here's hoping everything stays bump-free in bringing home two healthy babies and that nature takes care of the SR.


Mark said...

That is Super News!
Praying for the Best.

Mark and Frederic

Doug and Bill said...

When it rains it pours, huh!????

...thinking about you guys. I always try to remind myself that this is preparation for parenthood.

Big virtual hug,
D and B

Stephaniekb said...

Keeping you and your babies in my thoughts. I too worried about having to make this decision. Hoping that nature takes care of the hard decisions for you, but if not, rest assured that you're doing the best thing for everyone's health (physical and mental!)

Sip Gonzales said...

Our surrogate carried twins for 8 weeks when nature decided that one was not to be. One of the sacs was suddenly empty. We were sad, but the joy of still having a strong baby in the other sac helped us get over the loss. Our beautiful daughter is now 10 months old. We hope that nature resolves it so that you won't be faced with that difficult decision.