Monday, October 4, 2010

How Time Flies By

We are now into our 5th week in Delhi.  Not how we planned it, but it is what it is and as my mom said, 'honey, there is a reason God has kept you all there'.  This I believe.  Even last week when I was throwing a fit inside to get our exit visa and leave, and get home to my work, our dogs and our home - I knew I had to be open to seeing the positive in our delay here.  It doesn't take much looking actually - not when you are open to seeing the positive in things.  The fact of the matter is this - I would have gotten home and immediately gotten on a plane and begun to attend a series of very important work engagements that I am now missing.  I am missing several events this week alone and it pains me to miss them...but, the events go on without me - planning via late night phone calls and emails with staff in LA...and as a result of my fabulous team (you know who you are), the events will be perfection - this I know.  I am spending invaluable time with my family.  I am with the boys during a critical time in their growth, development and imprinting.  Everything happens for a reason...

For those who don't know, there was a delay in obtaining our boys' exit visa last Thursday.  This was not a complete surprise as our embassy had told us from day one that this was happening with some surrogacy cases - 'further investigation' as it was called.  We believed we had taken some steps, under advice and guidance from our legal representation, that would potentially preempt an investigation, but it did not satisfy the Indian officials.  So, it wasn't a total shock last Thursday when we were told the Indian government needed more information (despite all our papers being in order, US passports in hand for the boys and citizenship certificates as well).  This 'enquiry' as it is called can take several weeks but our embassy made a call (they have been terrific) to the head of enquiry and things are moving along quickly with the assistance of our attorney.  I don't want to get in the middle of Indian surrogacy politics here - this blog is about my family, and our friends and family sharing our story - not about politics.  So, we can all speculate about the motives, but it is irrelevant.  The fact of the matter is the government wants to make sure our surrogate was treated properly, paid as contracted, etc.  Our investigator visited us at our residence in Delhi the very next day after the launch of the enquiry and then interviewed the surrogate at Dr Shivani's office the same evening.  Things are moving quickly and we are told that our case should be complete and our family on a plane very soon.  Only time will tell.

Aside from being able to spend unforeseen quality time with the boys, another beautiful thing that came from this enquiry is that we were able to see our surrogate again - something that otherwise would not have happened.  She is doing fantastic - post c-section - and looks well!  She went with us on our FRRO appointment to assist in moving our case along thru enquiry more quickly.  This is something she didn't have to do, but in order to help us, she took most of an entire day and accompanied us.   While waiting at the FRRO, she was able to hold and feed Ajay a bottle.  It was the most precious moment of the entire experience for me and I am welling with tears even now.  When we left that day she placed both hands on each babies head and bowed to us, smiling ear to ear.  She is so proud of what she was able to do - this gift she was able to give.  It is the most amazing, gentle reminder of the kindness of the human soul.  I will always remember that moment with her. 

I can tell we've been here a while because of things I've watched grow and change.  The monsoons have gone since we arrived and the city has taken on a new feel - people are outside, washing their cars and cleaning the walkways.  The Commonwealth Games have begun after years of preparation - opening ceremonies were Sunday evening.  For the Americans and others who have likely never heard of the CWG, think Summer Olympics with no American team.  Delhi is the host city this year and, like the Summer Olympics, this event comes every four years and is largely a competition for the original British colonies (of which India is one), but there are 54 permanent members of the Commonwealth of Nations and over 70 participating nations in this year's games.  The city has been vastly improved since my last visit - all largely in preparation for these games.  There are over 6000 athletes here competing.  Traffic - not so fun.

One thing, however, that reminds me of our tenure is a family of pigeons outside our bathroom window (yes, pigeons are filthy, I know - but I love animals and have been obsessed with these birds).  When we arrived, the mother had just hatched two small baby birds and I watched her feed them each day, watched them grow.  They are now almost grown and I suspect they will fly any day.  It has been so cool to watch them mature.  They are in the front of the picture below - their mother behind them.
So, to pass the time - I bird watch - sans binoculars!

Our other pass time?  Television.  I have watched more re-runs of Murder She Wrote than I watched when it was on the air in the 1980's!  How on earth Jessica Fletcher always wound up in the midst of a murder each week is still astonishing!

And now, as always, the important are the boys...

I call this edition 'Brotherly Love'...enjoy...

Jag: 'But I'm not sleepy daddy'
Ajay: 'Really? I'm exhausted, speak for yourself!'
Jag:  'OK, will you dim the lights please?'
Ajay:  'Can someone pass me a pacifier?'
[silence - occasional coo-ing, but mostly silence]
Ajay:  'Thanks, I needed that!'
Jag:  [silence]
Jag:  'It's hot in here, move over!'
Ajay:  [silence]
Jag:  'I said move over!'
Ajay:  [yawn]
Jag:  'OK, now you are really pissing me off'
Ajay:  'But, I love you Jag'
Jag:  'Daddy, GET ME OUT OF HERE.'
Ajay:  'No, Daddy take me instead.'

And they lived happily ever after...

And this video titled 'Ajay finds his thumb'...


Adam and Michael said...

So unbelievably cute guys! Cant believe how much they have grown, and that video is awesome! Sorry to hear that you are still in Delhi but i am sure you'll look back and it would have gone so of luck and you'll be home with your family in no time! xx

Edward said...

Great post.
I think you (and all of us on this path) will look back very fondly on the time we are spending with our new families. It's the most precious gift of this journey in many ways.
Work will be there when you always is. But our babies will only be tiny for a short period.
Best of luck getting through the final steps and getting back to TX.

Kerrie and Mark said...

Thanks for the update. The boys are adorable!!! I wish your exit was quicker, but for now I just hope it is soon. The boys look big and strong, ready to travel.

Stephaniekb said...

Oh, they are totally gorgous and interesting how different they are from each other. They will always be the best of friends, I bet.
So sorry you've been there so long; I know a day in a hotel room in India seems like a week anywhere else. Hope you get your exit visa soon!!!

Unknown said...

I love the photo's! Can you guys get an exit visa from Mumbai?

Terry & Steve said...

Our embassy told us not to try and go to another port for exit so we didn't even try...

Amber and Brian said...

The boys are gorgeous. I love the pictures and captions. Brian and I are just starting to figure out our baby pick up plan and my goal is to try and keep everything in perspective they way you are. Turning the negative into a positive is not an easy feat though you make it sound so simple. It also shows what fabulous parents your boys are going to have for role models.

jojo said...

Oh, wow! They are absolute cuteness personified. What beautiful boys!

I love that you're seeing the positive side to your wait. You're right, these weeks are precious and they don't last very long. Tim and I often wish we could revisit those moments, even tho we were wishing them away, to a certain degree, some of the time we were there.

The CWGs is soooooooo popular in Aus. I think it's cause there aren't any Americans competing, and Australia subsequently wins a lot of medals. :)

Keep enjoying your boys! They're beautiful.


Mike and Mike said...

Patience and perseverence...enjoy the time you have now, although not ideal, you can concentrate your full attention on the boys! Once your home, you don't get that luxury and you'll miss it.

Rhonda and Gerry W said...

So darn cute!!! Bring back wonderful memories of a year ago for us. :)